Friday, December 30, 2011

Ultimate Purpose

You would have never known the person in this picture was a survivor of sexual and physical abuse. These acts were committed by her biological father or ex-husband. But it happened! One would think she would never be able to enjoy life or be resilient and show her abusers, I WIN! Why? Because I have taken my abuse, pain, trauma and anger and used it to serve god. To me, my life serves as a divine mission to help other children and women who are victims of abuse to prosper and give them a chance of hope. I believe my childhood trauma created a strong women who is full of strength, compassion and love. A love that man could never give or teach me. It was taught by god.

I often wonder how a women who was hurt and taken advantage of, can show the world what love is, by smiling and giving every ounce of her breath to try and change the world. That is why I get up every morning and ask god, how will you use me today?

I believe god has set me free over the years and help me to heal from all that pain and anger. By doing so, it allows my light to shine and help other children who are trapped in the same darkness I was in, to find a personal salvation. That is why I am excited to see how god will use me in Trinidad and all I can say is, "use me lord"!

Thursday, December 29, 2011

A Foster Alumni Journey Around the Globe: Leaping across the seas

A Foster Alumni Journey Around the Globe: Leaping across the seas: Today, I realize my departure to Trinidad is less than a week away. I just remembered the hustle and bustle it took for me to plan this trip...

Leaping across the seas

Today, I realize my departure to Trinidad is less than a week away. I just remembered the hustle and bustle it took for me to plan this trip, submit my application for independent studies and get approved for the placement with the sister from Saint Dominic's Children's Home and attending field placement orientation on my birthday. Now, the trip is knocking on my front door and before I know it, it will be time to board American Airlines flight and less than five hours, I will land in an unfamiliar environment and meet a whole new side of the world. Am I ready? As ready as one could ever be , when you go on a new job, when you meet an old friend, when you become a parent to your new bundle of joy and when you tell the lord " Yes Lord to Your Will and To Your Way". That's how ready I am to venture off and learn new things, meet new people, learn a new culture and learn the child welfare system in the dynamic and colorful Trinidad and Tobago lands. I promised myself and the lord, I will embrace every new experience each and everyday of the 16 weeks I am there! Stay tune for new post, pictures, and stories I will share with you while in Trinidad. Keep me lifted before the lord and know your support is golden to me!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Resilient Spirit

At Age 29, Nicole Marchman is a resilient, powerful and motivating foster alumni. This is true about Nicole owing to the painful experiences she endured during her childhood.

Being the oldest of twin sisters; Jessica and Melissa who are now 21 years old, Nicole was at an early stage in life forced to take on singular responsibility of a "mother" figure and practically raise her sisters. This role was performed very creditably despite the little experience she has about it until her unfortunate removal from it as a result of continuous physical abuse inflected upon her and her sisters by their biological father, Nicole at this point was at the tender age of 11 years old.

Following the separation which resulted to the splitting up of the sisters, Nicole suffered severe bouts of depression upon Nicole which was mainly brought upon by the fact that she was unable to provide protection to her siblings. To add to her woes, she was also forced to endure seven foster homes and three group homes due to foster parents refusing to or unwilling to provide "long term" foster placements.

Nicole and her twin siblings were eventually reunited when the latter was at the age of 15, this reunion occurred in a foster home. Sadly enough though, the foster mother was both verbally and physically abusive to the sisters. This unfortunate situation once more rekindled Nicole's protective instincts and personality as she ever so often stepped up as the protective sister once again in defense of her younger sisters!

This continued abuse ended up splitting the sisters again. Interestingly enough, all the harsh realities these sisters were forced to endure and grapple with did not break them; it rather built up their resilience and established among them what Nicole herself describes as ''an unbreakable bond of sisterhood". Nicole will do anything for her sisters in a heartbeat and has actually done that on countless occasions.

An example of the above happened when at age 24, Nicole appeared before a federal judge in her quest to obtain legal custody of her twin sisters, who were 15 years old at the time. Nicole knew of the challenges an action like this was going to bring upon her as she sought to play the role of parent to her sisters, yet she was bent on sticking by her guns because to her, parenting was something that came naturally to her.

Today Nicole has proven her skeptics wrong by displaying how strong-willed her spirit is and how so ready she is to stay her grounds in the face of enormous adversities that can easily break others down and rob them of motivation. Nicole has gone on to defy the odds by obtaining her Associates degree in the Arts; Bachelors degree in Social Work from the University of South Florida and is now in hot pursuit of a Masters degree in Social Work with a focus on Child Welfare Policy at the Florida State University. She portrays a true foster alumni advocate by serving in the position of Deputy Intern Coordinator & Child Welfare Associate with the US Senate Committee on Finance in Washington, D.C. where she also dabbles as a policy analyst and researcher with the National Collaboration for Youth in Washington, D.C.

Not stopping there, Mrs. Marchman goes further to exhibit her strong youth advocacy tendencies by working as a relief youth counselor with the National Youth Crisis Hot line with Alternative House, a body championing the cause of disadvantaged and or abused youth. It is obvious to all at this point that Nicole Marchman is, in her own words, ''on a mission to bring reform to the foster care system". She's doing this by among other things completing a Foster Alumni of America advocate leadership training and educating DC, VA and MD legislators about foster care and its current need of emergency help to reshape the system and indeed the entire USA (January 29th and February 3rd). Nicole is also scheduled to travel to Prague where she intends to complete a child welfare international class through FSU, while working in an orphanage (June-July 2011); and completing her field placement in a Trinidad orphanage, for a four month period (January - April 2012). Nicole refuses to allow her past hurts to cripple her present and future mission!

Where the story began

Your Only Excuse for Givening Up is Death

http://www.myzongo.com/blog-spot/Oral+Ofori/your-only-excuse-for-giving-up-is-death#readmore

So here is one of my everyday heroes, it's not superman or Hajj Malik El-Shabazz who is also Malcolm X by the way, but it is Nicole Marchman, who at Age 29, is a resilient, powerful and motivating foster alumni and a good friend am getting to discover more and more in a positive way. Nicole's experiences leaves me to believe that you can't say die until the bones are rotten.

Being the oldest of twin sisters; Jessica and Melissa who are now 21 years old, Nicole was at an early stage in life forced to take on singular responsibility of a "mother" figure and practically raise her sisters. This role was performed very creditably despite the little experience she has about it until her unfortunate removal from it as a result of continuous physical abuse inflicted upon her and her sisters by their biological father. Nicole at this point was at the tender age of 11 years old.
Following the separation which resulted to the splitting up of the sisters, Nicole suffered severe bouts of depression which was mainly brought upon by the fact that she was unable to provide protection to her siblings. To add to her woes, she was also forced to endure seven foster homes and three group homes due to foster parents refusing to or unwilling to provide "long term" foster placements.
Nicole and her twin siblings were eventually reunited when the twins were aged 15, this reunion occurred in a foster home. Sadly enough though, the foster mother was both verbally and physically abusive to the sisters. This unfortunate situation once more rekindled Nicole's protective instincts and personality as she ever so often stepped up as the protective sister once again in defense of her younger sisters!
This continued abuse ended up splitting the sisters again. Interestingly enough, all the harsh realities these sisters were forced to endure and grapple with did not break them; it rather built up their resilience and established among them what Nicole herself describes as ''an unbreakable bond of sisterhood". Nicole will do anything for her sisters in a heartbeat and has actually done that on countless occasions.
An example of the above happened when at 24, Nicole appeared before a federal judge in her quest to obtain legal custody of her twin sisters, who were 15 years old at the time. Nicole knew of the challenges an action like this was going to bring upon her as she sought to play the role of parent to her sisters. This notwithstanding she was bent on sticking by her guns because, parenting was something that came naturally to her.
Today Nicole has proven her skeptics wrong by displaying how strong-willed her spirit is and how so ready she is to stay her grounds in the face of enormous adversities that can easily break others down and rob them of motivation. Nicole has gone on to defy the odds by obtaining her Associates degree in the Arts; Bachelors degree in Social Work from the University of South Florida and is now in hot pursuit of a Masters degree in Social Work with a focus on Child Welfare Policy at the Florida State University.
She portrays a true foster alumni advocate by serving in the position of Deputy Intern Coordinator & Child Welfare Associate with the US Senate Committee on Finance in Washington, D.C. where she also dabbles as a policy analyst and researcher with the National Collaboration for Youth in Washington, D.C.
Not stopping there, Miss Marchman goes further to exhibit her strong youth advocacy tendencies by working as a relief youth counselor with the National Youth Crisis Hot line with Alternative House, a body championing the cause of disadvantaged and or abused youth. It is obvious to all at this point that Nicole Marchman is, in her own words, ''on a mission to bring reform to the foster care system".
She's doing this by  among other things completing a Foster Alumni of America advocate leadership training and educating legislators in the District of Columbia, Virginia and Maryland about foster care and its current need of emergency help to reshape the system and indeed the entire USA. Nicole is also scheduled to travel to Prague where she intends to complete a child welfare international class through the Florida State University while working in an orphanage (June-July 2011). Miss Marchman is also completing her field placement in a Trinidad orphanage, for a five month period (January 2012). Nicole refuses to allow her past hurts to cripple her present and future mission!
Well to all those like Nicole who have had it tough or even tougher, I say thank you for still keeping your heads up high. To you my dear reader, are you going to stand around and cry because you don't have shoes when the crippled man with amputated legs don't even have legs for shoes, or are you going to get off your behind and start living the life you know you were really brought here to live? The choice is yours.

WHAT DOES RESILIENCY MEAN?

When you encounter horrific pain and suffering, your natural instincts wants to run and hide.
If you don’t duck for hiding, you’ll become angry and bitter with the world. I’ve come to share with you; this can be bypassed through accepting your past and coming to terms with it. You can either use your past as a crutch or a motivation to change the world. Your probably asking, how is this possible?...

My Comfort Zone

My Comfort Zone By Author Unknown

I used to have a comfort zone
where I knew I wouldn't fail.
The same four walls and busywork
were really more like jail.
I longed so much to do the things I'd never done before,
But stayed inside my comfort zone and paced the same old floor.
I said it didn't matter that I wasn't doing much.
I said I didn't care for things like commission checks and such.
I claimed to be so busy with the things inside the zone,
But deep inside I longed for something special of my own.
I couldn't let my life go by just watching others win.
I held my breath; I stepped outside and let the change begin.
I took a step and with new strength I'd never felt before,
I kissed my comfort zone goodbye and closed and locked the door.
If you're in a comfort zone,
afraid to venture out,
Remember that all winners were at one time filled with doubt.
A step or two and words of praise can make your dreams come true.
Reach for your future with a smile;
success is there for you!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

True Reasons Behind Becoming a Foster Parent

A year ago, I decieded to become a foster parent but didn't pursue the process until a year later. It's been interesting to hear and see the different reactions received from different individuals with whom I've shared the news:

  • Why on earth would you want to be a foster parent?
  • Why would you want to care for some other persons child?
  • Aww thats really noble of you
  • Bless your heart
  • You have so much to offer those children
  • I heard alot of people do it for the money, but you seem to care less about the money!
Let me explain something, each of us holds a purpose while on this earth. Even though my parents physically abused me and didn't shower me with love, I have what it takes to care for each foster child who may enter my home. I believe by experiencing what a parent shouldn't be, and god protecting me from the face of death.....was gods way of molding and training me for such a role as this!